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2007 Elizabeth Kazeck Fall
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Parents--Your
athlete needs you!
To
have a successful program there must be understanding and cooperation
among parents, swimmers, and coaches.
The progress your youngster makes depends to a great extent on
this triangular relationship.
It is with this in mind that we ask you to consider this section
as you join the Highlander Swim Club and reacquaint yourself with this
section if you are a returning Highlander Aquatic Club parent.
 You
have done a great deal to raise your child.
You create the environment in which they are growing up.
Your child is a product of your values, the structure you have
provided, and the model you have been.
Human nature, however, is such that a parent loses some of his/her
ability to remain detached and objective in matters concerning his/her
children's athletics. The following guidelines will help you keep your
child's development in the proper perspective and help your child reach
his/her full potential as an athlete.
 The
coach is the Coach!: We
want your swimmer to relate to his or her coach as soon as possible
concerning swimming matters. This
relationship between coach and swimmer produces best
results. When parents interfere
with opinions as to how the swimmer should swim or train, it causes
considerable, and oftentimes insurmountable, confusion as to whom the
swimmer should listen to. If
you have a problem, concern, or complaint, please contact the coach.
Best kind of parent: The coach's job is to motivate and constructively
criticize the swimmer's performance.
It is the parent's job to supply the love, recognition, and encouragement
necessary to make the child work harder in practice, which in turn gives
him/her the confidence to perform well in competition.
Ten and Unders
Ten
and Unders are the most inconsistent swimmers and this can be frustrating
for parents, coaches, and the swimmer alike!
Parents and coaches must be patient and permit these youngsters
to learn to love the sport. When a young swimmer first joins the Highlander
Aquatic Club, there may be a brief period in which he/she appears to
slow down. This is a result of the added concentration on stroke technique,
but this will soon lead to much faster swims for the individual.
Even the very best swimmer will have meets where they do not
do their best times. These
"plateaus" are a normal part of swimming. Over the course
of a season times should improve.
Please be supportive of these "poor" meets.
The older swimmers may have only two or three meets a year for
which they will be rested and tapered.
Problems with the coach?
One
of the traditional swim team communication gaps is that some parents seem
to feel more comfortable in discussing their disagreements over coaching
philosophy with other parents rather than taking them directly to the
coach. Not only is the problem
never resolved that way, but in fact this approach often results in new
problems being created. Listed
below are some guidelines for a parent raising some difficult issues with
a coach:
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Try
to keep foremost in your mind that you and the coach have the best
interests of your child at heart.
If you trust that the coach's goals match yours, even though
his/her approach may be different, you are more likely to enjoy
good rapport and a constructive dialogue.
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Keep
in mind that the coach must balance your perspective of what is
best for your child with the needs of the team or a training group
that can range in size from 10-50 members. On occasion, an individual
child's interest may need to be subordinate to the interests of
the group, but in the long run the benefits of membership in the
group compensate for occasional short term inconvenience.
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If
your child swims for an assistant coach, always discuss the matter
first with that coach, following the same guidelines and preconceptions
noted above. If the assistant coach cannot satisfactorily resolve
your concern, then ask that the head age group coach or head coach
join the dialogue as a third party.
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If
another parent uses you as a sounding board for complaints about
the coach's performance or policies, listen empathetically, but
encourage the other parent to speak directly to the coach.
He/she is the only one who can resolve the problem.
The Ten Commandments For Parents of Athletic Children
Reprinted
from The Young Athlete by Bill Burgess included in "The Swim Parents
Newsletter"
| I.
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Make
sure your child knows that - win or lose, scared or heroic -- you
love him/her, appreciate their efforts, and are not disappointed in
them. This will allow
then to do their best without a fear of failure. Be the person in
their life they can look to for constant positive reinforcement. |
| 2
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Try
your best to be completely honest about your child'‘ athletic ability,
his/hers competitive attitude, their sportsmanship, and their actual
skill level.
|
| 3
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Be
helpful, but don’t coach him/her on the way to the pool or on the
way back, or at breakfast, and so on. It’s tough not to, but it’s
a lot tougher for the child to be inundated with advice, pep talks
and often critical instruction. |
| 4
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Teach
them to enjoy the thrill of competition, to be "out there trying,"
to be working to improve his/her swimming skills and attitudes. Help
him/her to develop the feel for competing, for trying hard, for having
fun. |
| 5
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Try
not to relive your athletic life through your child in a way that
creates pressure; you lost as well as won. You were frightened, you
backed off at times, you were not always heroic. Don’t pressure your
child because of your pride. Athletic children need their parents
so you must not withdraw. Just remember there is a thinking, feeling,
sensitive free spirit out there in that uniform who needs a lot of
understanding, especially when his world turns bad. If he/she is comfortable
with you -- win or lose -- he/she is on their way to maximum achievement
and enjoyment. |
| 6
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Don’t
compete with the coach. If the coach becomes and authority figure,
it will run from enchantment to disenchantment, etc.., with your athlete.
|
| 7
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Don’t
compare the skill, courage, or attitudes of your child with other
members of the team, at least within his/her hearing.
|
| 8
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Get
to know the coach so that you can be assured that his/her philosophy,
attitudes, ethics, and knowledge are such that you are happy to have
your child under his/her leadership. |
| 9
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Always
remember that children tend to exaggerate, both when praised and when
criticized. Temper your reaction and investigate before over-reacting.
|
| 10
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Make
a point of understanding courage, and the fact that it is relative.
Some of us can climb mountains, and are afraid to fight.
Some of us will fight, but turn to jelly if a bee approaches.
Everyone is frightened in certain areas.
Explain that courage is not the absence of fear, but a means
of doing something in spite of fear of discomfort. |
Great spirits
have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
- Albert Einstein
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