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Do's and Don'ts for Sport Parents
By Michael A. Taylor
Gymnastics Risk Management and Consultation
coacht@gym.net
Visit Michael’s Website at www.gym.net
DO FOR YOURSELF:
1. Get vicarious pleasure from your children's participation, but do not become overly ego-involved,
2. Try to enjoy yourself at competitions. Your unhappiness can cause your child to feel guilty.
3. Look relaxed, calm, positive and energized when watching your child compete. Your attitude influences how your child feels and performs.
4. Have a life of your own outside of your child's sports participation.
DO WITH OTHER PARENTS:
1. Make friends with other parents at events. Socializing can make the event more fun for you.
2. Volunteer as much as you can. Youth sports depends upon the time and energy of involved parents.
3. Police your own ranks: Work with other parents to ensure that all parents behave appropriately at practices and competitions.
DO WITH COACHES:
1. Leave the coaching to the coaches.
2. Give them any support they need to help them do their jobs better.
3. Communicate with them about your child You can learn about your child from each other.
4. Inform them of relevant issues at home that might affect your child at practice.
5. Inquire about the progress of your children. You have a right to know.
6. Make the coaches your allies.
DO FOR YOUR CHILDREN:
1. Provide guidance for your children, but do not force or pressure them.
2. Assist them in setting realistic goals for participation.
3. Emphasize fun, skill development and other benefits of sports participation, e.g., cooperation, competition, self-discipline, commitment.
4. Show interest in their participation: help them get to practice, attend competitions, ask questions.
5. Provide; a healthy perspective to help children understand success and failure.
6. Emphasize and reward effort rather than results.
7. Intervene if your child's behavior is unacceptable during practice or competitions.
8. Understand that your child may need a break from sports occasionally.
9. Give your child some space when need. Part of sports participation involves them figuring things out for themselves.
10. Keep a sense of humor. If you are having fun and laughing, so will your child.
11. Provide regular encouragement.
12. Be a healthy role model for your child by being positive and relaxed at competitions and by having balance in your life.
13. GIVE THEM UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: SHOW THEM YOU LOVE THEM WHETHER THEY WIN OR LOSE!!!
DON'T FOR YOURSELF:
1. Base your self-esteem and ego on the success of your child's sports participation.
2. Care too much about how your child performs.
3. Lose perspective about the importance of your child's sports participation.
gym.net - Gymnastics Risk Management and Consultation Michael A. Taylor coacht@gym.net
DON'T WITH OTHER PARENTS:
1. Make enemies of other parents.
2. Talk about others in the sports community. Talk to them. It is more constructive.
DON'T WITH COACHES:
1. Interfere with their coaching during practice or competitions.
2. Work at cross purposes with them. Make sure you agree philosophically and practically on why your child is playing sports and what they may get out of sports.
DON'T WITH YOUR CHILDREN:
1. EXPECT YOUR CHILDREN TO GET ANYTHING MORE FROM THEIR SPORT THAN A GOOD TIME, PHYSICAL FITNESS, MASTERY AND LOVE OF A LIFETIME SPORT, AND TRANSFERABLE LIFE SKILLS.
2. Ignore your child's bad behavior in practice or competitions.
3. Ask the child to talk with you immediately after a competition.
4. Show negative emotions while watching them perform.
5. Make your child feel guilty for the time, energy and money you are spending and the sacrifices you are making.
6. Think of your child's sports participation as an investment for which you expect a return.
7. Live out your own dreams through your child's sports participation.
8. Compare your child's progress with that of other children.
9. Badger, harass, use sarcasm, threaten or use fear to motivate your child It only demeans them and causes them to hate you.
10. Expect anything from your child except their best effort.
11. EVER DO ANYTHING THAT WILL CAUSE THEM TO THINK LESS OF THEMSELVES OR OF YOU! !
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Guy Edson
American Swimming Coaches Association
5101 NW 21st Ave., Suite 200
Fort Lauderdale, FL 33309
800-356-2722, 8 AM-5PM Eastern Time
Guy Edson, ASCA Staff
I was following a school bus the other day when it stopped to pick up two middle school aged boys. Because of the framed glass emergency door in the back of the bus I could watch the two boys playfully tussling with each other as they made their way to the very last seat of the bus. Finally the bus began to move again – it seemed to take forever just to pick up two boys. I then thought back to my childhood days and riding the school bus. As soon as I crossed that white line on the floor at the front of the bus the doors closed and the bus sped off to the next stop, adding the dimensions of speed and bumps and movement to the normal tussling. It took balance and strength to make your way to the seat. Quite frankly, I sometimes didn’t make it to a seat without being deliberately shoved, or through my own clumsiness, stumbling and nearly falling. It was a challenge – but I never considered it as such. To me, it was “normal.”
Our school bus practices now are far more safe and part of a widespread effort to insure the safety and comfort of our children.
Who can be against that?
At the risk of getting some “what are you thinking” emails and maybe even a few cancelations, I am going to go out on a limb and suggest that our society’s collective efforts in protecting our children have, in subtle ways, removed “opportunities for falling down on the bus” and other failures. Failure is simply not allowed. Adversity is to be minimized.
Consequently, a healthy attitude toward failure and adversity is often undeveloped. A few years ago I was hired as the dryland training coach for a local high school. During a heavy weight lifting cycle I explained the concept of lifting to failure. (Lifting to failure, by the way, is an accepted and common practice in weight training. Widely written about and researched, it is the de facto method for improving strength.) Failure, as a concept, was so foreign to these high schoolers that they didn’t get it. Even when I demonstrated it, they still didn’t get it. Have we painted failure so darkly that no one gets the importance of it anymore?
I am happy to report that some do still get it. Recently we interviewed a young person for an open position and when asked what she was really good at she replied that she was very good at failure. She explained that it was through failure that she learned how to succeed. How refreshing it was to hear that! (And yes, she was a former national level swimmer.)
Last week I attended a lecture by a former Navy SEAL who, after over 30 years of service, is now part of the SEAL training team. He explained the SEAL Ethos and what stood out to me was the phrase, “Forged by Adversity.”
“Forged by Adversity” is at the heart of what we do with our upper-level, older age group swimmers and all advanced senior swimmers. Adversity, however, is not something normal people deliberately seek. Most avoid it. All good coaches find that it is one of the greatest tools for shaping swimmers not only into great swimmers, but into future grownups with one of the best of all the life skills.
Adversity provides the opportunity to build determination, build confidence, build mental strength, give perspective, and to build physical toughness. Are these not qualities we want in all our children?
Arnold Schwarzenegger said, "Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength."
And in swimming practice, adversity comes from sets, or possibly whole workouts, deliberately designed by the coach to make the athlete fail. The coach does that by creating a set where a combination of the distance, the intensity, and a low rest interval make it difficult if not impossible to make. There are many strategies and methods for doing this that go beyond the scope of this newsletter AND these strategies include a progression for how much adversity is presented at what ages, but the bottom line is this: Swimmers get better through a workout environment that offers the opportunity for failure.
And so, Parent, what is your role in all of this? I hope you refrain from seeking to protect your child from the adversity and opportunity for failure at swimming practice. To do so is to deny your child the opportunity for building the qualities described above. Instead, consider your role as the encourager. Encourage your swimmer to persevere, to break through, to come back the next day determined to work harder against the adversity placed there by the coach. Then enjoy and celebrate the moment when your child does break through. (And they will!)
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Guy Edson
American Swimming Coaches Association
5101 NW 21st Ave., Suite 200
Fort Lauderdale, FL 33309
800-356-2722, 8 AM-5PM Eastern Time
Another Reason To Love Having Your Child on the Swim Team
[Editors note: This recent article by Nanci Hellmich in USA Today reminds us of how wonderful our sport of swimming is. Our swimmers are continually active in practices.]
Kids Active Only About Half Of Time In Sports Practices
By Nanci Hellmich, USA TODAY
http://www.usatoday.com/yourlife/fitness/exercise/2010-12-07-youthsports07_ST_N.htm
Kids on soccer, baseball and softball teams are playing hard during practices an average of 45 minutes, which is less than half the time they're there, a study shows.
"Millions of youth participate in sports, but kids are spending a lot of time waiting their turn, getting instruction or doing skills practice, which may not be very active, especially in baseball and softball," says exercise researcher James Sallis, director of the Active Living Research Program at San Diego State University.
He and colleagues recruited 200 children, ages 7-14, on 29 different community sports teams for soccer, baseball and softball. There were equal numbers of girls and boys.
About one-fourth of the players wore accelerometers during practices to calculate how much of the time they were moderately to vigorously active. Practice times ranged from 40 to 130 minutes for soccer; 35 to 217 minutes for baseball and softball.
The government's physical activity guidelines recommend that children get at least 60 minutes a day of moderate to vigorous physical activity.
Among the findings in Monday's issue of the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine:
.On average, kids were moderately to vigorously active for 45 minutes,
which was 46% of their practice time.
.24% of all the team members met the one-hour activity goal; only 2% of girl softball players met the recommendation.
.Girls were less active than boys in all sports, but only by an average of 11 minutes per practice.
.The most active players overall were soccer players, boys and children ages 10-14.
Other research shows that children are often more active during free play than structured activities, because the more time coaches spend giving instruction and doing some drills, the less activity kids get, Sallis says.
Girls playing softball were particularly inactive, he says, so coaches could set a goal of incorporating more physical activity during those practices.
"Even if kids are spending an hour and a half at a sports practice, most aren't getting all the activity they need for the day," Sallis says. "So parents may need to find some other way to make sure their kids are getting 60 minutes of activity a day."
[Editor’s concluding note about the above comment: “That ‘other way’ is swimming! Sign them up for the swim team!”]
So This Is Competitive Swimming: For Newer Swim Parents
Russ Sampson
Head Coach, Clarence Swim Club, New York
First, let me start off by saying you have chosen the best sport for your child. The process of developing in an individual sport supports the life lessons that any parent would like to have instilled in their child. Character traits and lessons like time management, dedication, communication, goal setting, commitment, self improvement, sacrifice, overcoming obstacles, self worth, and pride. The reason I believe this to the best sport for development for your child is simple. Like life, what you put into swimming, you get out of it. Like life, swimming isn’t always easy; it isn’t always exciting; it isn’t always easy to love or even to like it. But like life, the rewards that it gives are the best kind: Pride in the journey and processes that you have taken to bring about a desirable outcome. Note the use of the word “outcome” and not “result”. Desired results should almost invariably be faster than actual. Desired outcomes take into account the journey, the friendships, the character growth, the actual results, the training, the relationships with the coaches, and the respect all that deserves.
I would also like to say that you have chosen the best sport because of the professionalism in our structure. USA Swimming is the single most decorated, successful and structured of any youth sport in the world. Our club employs professional coaches with a passion for the sport and a strong concern for each of our swimmers. Our Learn To Swim program offers the best 10 step process towards not only teaching your swimmer all four competitive strokes and water safety, but preparing them for success in the competitive side of the sport, should they choose to continue. Other youth sports are known for using volunteer parents with little or no background/training in the sport they are coaching.
But patience is needed. Swimming can be a life-long endeavor. Success is relative to the competition you face, and there is ALWAYS better competition to be faced (one of the beauties of the sport!) Fast at 10 years old is not fast at 12. Being super fast at 12 may be marginal at 18 years old. And, often, slow at 10 does not mean slow at 18.
Understanding is needed. Our coaches have a plan, a structure and a direction for your swimmer. It includes the possibility of swimming in college (if the swimmer wants this) and a near continual progression through the sport with growth, development and results to bring about the desired outcome as noted before. Work with the coaches and support your swimmer. Communicate with the coaches and over time, take a back seat and allow your swimmer to communicate on their own behalf.
Knowledge is needed. Comparing your child to others is not healthy. Compare them to where they were a year ago, and what is reasonable for them to strive towards over the next year. If you have a 1st grader learning multiplication, it is not reasonable for them to learn quantum physics by 3rd grade. If you have two children, you see that they differ in the way they develop, learn, grow and mature and those differences are what makes them unique and special and not less or more adequate. Use the same principles when you start to wonder why Suzie, who used to be slower than your child in the pool is now seemingly light years ahead.
As we move forward in the sport, take great comfort that your children are surrounded by great people, from the swimmers they share a lane with, to the coaches and parents that help run this club. Involve yourself as much as you can in facilitating your child’s efforts in this sport by getting them to practice and meets on time, by volunteering and/or officiating, by showing them that you care as much about their involvement as they do. Support them with kind words and appropriate praise for jobs well done. Let the coaches coach, and let yourselves be the compassionate support system.
“Teaching Hard Work to Parents As Well as Children”
By John Leonard
The above quote came from the former President of USA-Swimming, Coach Jim Wood of the Berkeley Aquatic Club of New Jersey, in response to a question “what can we do to improve American Swimming?” at a USA-Swimming Steering Committee meeting last January.
Jim, as many of you know, is a 40 year plus veteran of the coaching scene, and owns his own pool and program and has been a leader in USA-Swimming for many years. He currently is President of USA-Aquatic Sports, the umbrella organization for the Aquatic Sports in the USA, as they report to FINA. He’s produced Olympians, National Champions, great age group teams and runs a highly successful swim business and swim school.
And his statement rang a bell with me.
I do talks for parents all over the world, as well as in the USA. And I “part time coach” my own team here in Fort Lauderdale, so I can stay current with all the things coaches face on deck in our sport. A considerable percentage of the parents that coaches deal with regularly have changed significantly from 10-20 and certainly 30 years ago.
I always ask parents what factors have led to their current success in life. Invariably, the majority have stories of hardships faced, challenges met, hard times overcome, on the way to a solid life and family, fiscal security or any sort of success you want to mention.
After these stories, a majority of parents say some variation on “boy, I don’t want my kid to have to go through that!”
And I am always floored. “you mean, you don’t want your child to experience the same formative experiences that you are describing as the ‘thing that made you what you are today’?”.
Invariably, they look at me blankly and then slowly it dawns on them what they are saying and the eyes go to the floor and you can almost hear an audible “hmmm….”
The natural response of any parent is to “protect” their child.
But let us not confuse “protect” with “shelter”. Children only really grow up under some pressure, some need to overcome something, the need to stretch, try harder, grow….in short, to GO TO WORK on something they care about.
The harder the work, the more satisfying the growth, maturity and individual strength created.
When we do something for our children that they are capable of doing themselves, we make them weaker. (not stronger) We want strong, independent children, yes? ……..Yes?
When we let children do for themselves, they learn to work for what they want.
Just like you and I did. And most parents did. Hard work is good for all of us.
Have confidence in your child and let them grow. They will prove themselves as strong or stronger than you. But they need you to “give them something” to get there…….
…the Freedom to do the hard work themselves.
By Guy Edson, ASCA Staff
I have never met a coach who didn’t want all their athletes to be the best they can be.
I have never met a parent who didn’t want their child to be the best they can be.
So why do we have so many conflicts between coaches and parents? The simple answer is that each sees a different path.
Let’s take the case of the unusually advanced 8 year old whose parents want their child to swim with the next group of 9-12’s. “After all,” the mom says, “my son is faster than half of the kids in the next group.” (And she is correct.)
Why wouldn’t the coach give a wholehearted “Yes,” and say, “I’ll move him up right away. In fact, I believe he can make the send off intervals that the 11-12’s are making so I’ll put him there. In a year he may be ready for the senior team.”
Why not?
Because every good coach sees the importance of long term progressive development and views their young swimmers as long term endeavors. Coaches should take a patient and a progressive approach to the development of their young swimmers. Coaches want swimmers in the program through their teen years and into their 20’s when they are physically mature and have the greatest potential for life changing participation.
Ask an adult who dropped out of swimming by age 12 or 13 what they remember from the sport and chances are, they remember very little. Now ask an adult who swam through college what they remember and chances are they will tell you it was one of the most important life changing experiences of their life.
So how do we keep a swimmer in the sport that long?
Many parents also will echo the importance of long term development. However, they just want to speed it up. There is a sometimes verbalized refrain, “The better he is now, then the better he will be in the future.”
This is not true in most cases. Parents who are otherwise well-meaning, sometimes push their budding stars to excel too early at almost any cost. And that cost is frequently failing to finish the long term.
Parents should take note: A 2001 study by the National Alliance for Youth Sports found that 70 percent of American kids who sign up for sports quit by the time they were 13. The reason? They said it wasn't fun anymore.
A study done by the ASCA staff years ago and repeated several times since shows that only 17 to 20% of the aged 9-10 swimmers ranked in the top 16 are still swimming at the national level 5 years later. USA Swimming also did a study using the all time Top 100 list and found that only 11% of the top ranked 10 and unders are still ranked as 17-18 year olds.
What is the primary reason we lose swimmers? The number one reason according to a survey done a few years ago is simply that swimming stopped being fun.
And what are the elements of fun? Friends, caring coaches, and absence of undue pressure from mom and dad to achieve their goals for the child.
When we move an 8 and under to an older age group we…:
…take them away from their friends. (“Friends” is the number one reason why young swimmers stay on the team in the first place.)
…take away their opportunity to be the leader of their peers. Good coaches build core groups of swimmers around leaders and move those core groups up through the program very nearly together.
…take the edge off of that wonderful, playful, crazy style of an 8 year old – because now, they are with older swimmers who usually do not share the same traits as an 8 year old.
…place tremendous pressure on the swimmer because now it’s not about having fun and being with friends, now it is about the serious business of work and achieving the goals mom and dad are setting for the child.
…change the progression and move the swimmer to a program which they may not be able to handle physically, developmentally, or mentally. Dryland training for an 8 and under is vastly different than for an 11-12 year old. The amount of fundamental kicking is less for an older age group swimmer. The amount of stroke work is also less for an older age group swimmer. Skip a proper progression of these and you risk developing an incomplete athlete.
…provide less time for games and relays.
…ignore the fact that the 8 year old may be better than the other 8 and unders because he is simply older biologically and developmentally than his peers and in all likelihood his peers will catch up to him at some point and many will pass on by. When that happens it is very difficult for the swimmer to understand why they aren’t so “good” anymore and lose interest in the sport.
…identify the 8 year old as a “talent” with tremendous pressure to live up to it. Some parents even identify their young swimmers as “our talented little butterflyer” or backstroker or breaststroker, etc. The problem is, as swimmers grow and body proportions change, they frequently lose their ability to be very good in one specific stroke. If their identity is attached to a stroke and they lose their stroke, then they lose their identity. Good coaches don’t create specialized age group swimmers and try very hard to create well rounded IM swimmers. When parents push a certain stroke upon a child, it adds to the stress.
…place the child in a socially difficult situation. Chatter among swimmers between sets and before and after practice – the so called “locker room talk” -- may be very inappropriate for an 8 year old to listen to.
…change the focus of the coach as the coach now has to take special care for an under-age swimmer in the group who might not make all the intervals or understand all the instructions.
Neither parents, nor coaches, can MAKE a child be a great swimmer. We can only provide the environment with the proper emotional support (parents) and challenges (coaching) in a well crafted progressive program aimed at the long term development of the child (coaching). It looks like I have reduced the role of the parent to that of providing emotional support – correct! That’s what you can uniquely provide and that is what is most needed from you.
Next time you come to practice, bring an extra towel for your child, and bring a book for yourself. Allow your child to get lost in the fun of a practice with their buddies while you simply watch them for the sheer joy of it without worries about their swimming future… or, just get lost in your book.
Guy Edson, ASCA Staff
Workout on the day after a swim meet is critically important to attend.
Why is it so important?
1. It’s an opportunity for the coach to recognize the good performers in front of all the swimmers.
2. It’s an opportunity to review the team’s progress toward seasonal goals.
3. It’s an opportunity to immediately address weaknesses observed at the meet with individuals as well as the team and to respond with drills, teaching, or appropriate training.
4. It’s necessary in order to stay on the training plan. Depending on the time in the season, resting from a practice is counterproductive to swimming fast later in the season.
5. It’s an opportunity to directly and deliberately face being tired and to perform regardless – an awesome life lesson.
Unfortunately, an occasional parent will make a coaching decision that their child can take the day off to rest. We need the support of parents to get their children to practice on the day after or risk their child losing the above benefits.
Guy Edson, ASCA Staff
This is an article about false assumptions. The coach assumes all relay eligible swimmers will be available for the LSC championship meet. The parent assumes that because their child didn’t make any individual cuts their season is over the week before the LSC champs and plans a family vacation. Opps.
This is an article about planning. Coaches plan the season with the end in mind and a common goal is to place as high as possible in the LSC championship meet. Workouts and progressions are designed to prepare age group swimmers for this important meet and relays are a very important part of scoring since they are worth twice the points as individual events. In addition to the scoring aspect, team building and the experienced gained by relay only swimmers are important as well. We like to see parents plan for the end of season meets accordingly as well.
This is also an article on communication. Coaches communicate the importance of the end of season meets from the very beginning of the season and parents would be wise in checking with the coach throughout the season as to the possibility of their child swimming at the LSC championship meet, whether in individual events or relays only.
Relays give relay-only swimmers an opportunity to prepare for the end of season meet along side of their friends. Relays give them a greater sense of belonging to the team and contributing to team goals. Relays give the relay-only swimmer a chance for a “best time” at the end of the season and a chance for a medal or ribbon they might not otherwise have an opportunity for. Relays inspire swimmers to come back the next season as an individual events swimmer. And, relays are simply fun.
All the extra arrangements for the relay only swimmer; all the waiting around; and all the extra expense… is it worth it?
You bet!
“Eliminate Your Competition”
Guy Edson, ASCA Staff
Here are some short vignettes of parent--coach interactions I have collected over the past couple of months at meets I have attended with my own team as well as observations other teams here in South Florida.
· Early in the morning before the meet warm-up a coach, holding one corner of the shade canopy and trying to both direct a hand full of helpful swimmers and negotiate around the corner of the bleacher is suddenly replaced by a crew of parents telling him, “You and the swimmers have more important things to do. We will take care of this.”
· During a passing rain shower hitting in the middle of the 400 freestyles, a parent stands by the coach with umbrella in hand so the coach can watch and take splits in relative dryness.
· In the finals’ heat sheets the coach discovers that one of his swimmers is seeded two seconds faster than she actually swam in prelims and the erroneous time is a JO qualifying time. After talking to meet management he finds out that there was a “timing error” and the meet management felt the results were fair and were not going to change them. He explains the situation to the dad of the swimmer and before the coach has a chance to say that the child has to truly make the time standard, the dad beats the coach to the thought saying, “she has to earn it by doing it.”
· Most everyone has left at the end of prelims except officials, timers, a few coaches and swimmers preparing for a couple of heats of 1500’s. During the short break the coach reviews splits and strategies with his swimmers and doesn’t have time to leave the deck. A parent brings him a cold soda and a sandwich from the concession stand.
· After finals a group of parents clean up the area they had occupied that day leaving it cleaner than they had found it.
· A swimmer who qualifies 9th and fails to make finals is comforted and reassured by the dad who then, without comment on the swim, directs the swimmer to speak with the coach.
· A parent sincerely asks if the coaching staff can do a private lesson to fix his son’s butterfly. The coach said that he didn’t believe he needed a private lesson, but just needed to apply what the staff is saying to him in practice every day. Before the 50 fly event the coach reminds the boy, with the parent present, to get his head and chest down, hips up, and to stretch the entry before beginning the stroke in order to allow the hips time to get up. In the event the swimmer dives in and swims uphill butterfly the entire way. The coach explains to the parent that every day the staff reminds the swimmer about proper timing and body position in the water and he sometimes tunes in and does it but more often doesn’t. When the swimmer returns from the swim for post race analysis the coach asks the swimmer if he thought at all about his hips up and he said “no.” The parent then says to his son, “Sounds like you just need to pay more attention in practice.”
· A swimmer who has noticeably struggled all meet long has one last chance to make finals and all parents stand up to cheer the swimmer on. (He makes finals.)
· On the last day of a three day meet, a swimmer -- who has had an exceptionally good meet and made several qualifying times the previous two days but is noticeably tired -- makes the final of one event on the last night. It is an inconsequential event for the athlete and there is no team scoring involved. The coach recommends that the swimmer scratch finals and go home early to get some rest. The dad is fully supportive.
· Due to a ton of scratches, a young swimmer is moved all the way up to first alternate and this would be his first chance at a final. He is excited about the opportunity to swim again. Even though his best time is far behind the other qualifiers his parents are also enthusiastic about bringing him back for a chance at swimming in finals. However, there are no scratches and the boy is unable to swim and is noticeably disappointed. His parents hug him and reassure him that his time will come and they stay for the rest of finals to watch and cheer for the other swimmers.
…All good examples of wonderful parent support.
So, where does the title “Eliminate the Competition” come from? It comes from another vignette:
· During the 400 freestyles in a qualifying meet, a 12 year old swimmer who I had just finished going over the pre-race strategy with the coach, was pulled aside on his way to the blocks by the dad who told him to “eliminate the competition” on the first 200 so that he would have an “easy time of it” on the second 200. This may be an acceptable business strategy but not so good in the 400 free. The boy tried to do as the dad said and did indeed go out fast but failed badly on the second half of the swim and missed a qualifying time substantially. The dad stormed out of the natatorium without talking to his son or the coach.
I was going to write an article about this situation and what might have been a more appropriate chain of events but then I starting thinking of all the good things parents do at swim meets and I decided to focus an article on the positive instead, because the positive parent behaviors far outweigh the negative behaviors. We coaches thank all of you parents who model such good choices for your children and the team.
It’s Not About Butterfly (or back, or breast, or free…..)
Guy Edson
Coach (giving instructions to a group of above average ability 13-14 year olds): “The next set is nine 100’s of fly on 1:30, descending one through 3, 4 through 6, and 7 through 9. The purpose of this set is twofold: first, controlling your swims, and second, facing the challenge and beating it. We’re leaving on the next 60, get ready to go.”
Swimmer: “I suck at fly. It’s not my best event. Why do I even have to do this?”
Coach: “This is not about butterfly. It’s about your mind. It’s about mental toughness. It’s about learning how to deal with the very difficult. Swimming practice is not designed to be accommodating to what you like, it’s designed to be relevant to what you need, and at the top of the list of relevance is dealing with adversity and learning how to approach the seemingly impossible. This set is an unabashed challenge to your ability to tough it out. Get ready to go.”
However, the swimmer walks out of practice and later complains to her father who comes to the next practice and confronts the coach. “How does an impossible butterfly set help her breaststroke?” he demands.
What can happen? The coach can give the same answer to the father that he gave to the daughter and if the he buys into it, then we have a partnership – coach and father: the coach presents the challenges and the dad provides the emotional support to the child.
If the father doesn't buy it, the child will lose an opportunity to challenge themselves, convince themselves "I can" rather than "I can't", and the coach will recognize an athlete who is not ready to step up and "take a chance" yet, which is the first step to long term success."
Is there anything more important in this coaching and swimming endeavor than learning to deal with adversity? Are you giving your coach the authority, the freedom, support, and the blessings to prescribe workouts which enable the swimmer to develop resiliency?
We believe hard work is its own reward. We believe that everyone benefits from hard work. It teaches all of us that nothing is given to us, it has to be earned. It teaches us that life is not fair as sometimes those who work the hardest are not rewarded the most. But without hard work, there is a reduced likelihood of reward. Hard work “feels good”. It makes us feel valuable, capable, and self-sufficient. One of the few things we can control in the world is the level of our own effort. When we work harder than we thought was possible for us, we open new doors of possibility in our lives.
We believe that children need to be TAUGHT to work hard. Role modeling from parents, from coaches, and from teammates is the best teacher. Young people learn when they say “I’m tired” from sitting around all day in front of a computer, that they have to learn that SPENDING ENERGY in hard work, BRINGS MORE energy to your body and mind. Want to feel great? Get up and work hard. Sitting around does, in fact, make you tired. Children need to be taught that. It is counter-intuitive.
We believe that Resiliency is THE great trait to learn from swimming. Everyone gets knocked down in life. The critical thing is to learn to bounce back up immediately and re-double your efforts. When I speak to parents, they always tell me that they attained the position they have in life by overcoming all the obstacles that fate placed in their way. Then, they often say “I don’t want my kids to have to go through that.”
This is lunacy! You don’t want your children to learn from the same pieces in life that made you successful?
Children need hard challenges. They need to “fail” as often as they succeed. They need to learn to quickly and effectively bounce back up and get back to work. Parents protecting their children in the extreme are called “Curling Parents”. (Because they remove the obstacles from the path of the child.) IT IS SO MUCH BETTER to prepare the child for the hard path, than try to clear the hard path FOR the child. Each time you do something for your child that they can do for themselves you make your child WEAK. Show your confidence in them by allowing THEM to overcome the obstacles. Resiliency.
It’s a Family Thing. Everyone in the family has a role in swimming.
The child does the work, the learning, the physical effort. The parents remind the child of their commitments made and of the life skills that will make them a success in life and in swimming. The Coach coaches. The friends support and cheer and encourage. The parent takes care of the “get the child there” logistics so critical to a child’s success and consistency. Everyone has a role. Play YOUR role and don’t interfere in other’s role.
Written by Head Coach Ray Benecki,
The FISH, Fairfax, VA
Every so often we are presented with the tremendous opportunity to swim in a meet that has prelims and finals sessions. These meets are structured so as to present the fastest 8, or 16, or 24 swimmers from the morning or afternoon prelims sessions with another chance to swim again at finals in the evening. The number of swimmers advancing to finals in this fashion depends on the meet, their age group, and sometimes the events themselves. Some meets offer finals for all age groups, except for the 10 and unders. Some meets offer one heat of finals for 11 and 12 swimmers, but two heats of finals for 13 and older swimmers. Distance events are usually swum just one time, and sometimes the 11-12 200 fly, 200 back, and 200 breast are Timed Finals also.
These types of meets provide a valuable learning experience for our swimmers and encourage them to swim at a high level of competition. These types of meets are valuable tools to prepare our swimmers for their end-of-season Championships. Either they get a taste of swimming finals, or get a better appreciation of what it takes to qualify for finals next time.
Swimming the same event twice in one day is quite a challenge; making finals in two events doubly so. And you can imagine qualifying for three. Yet we don’t want to wait until our biggest meet to face this challenge. The more experience you can get trying to qualify for finals, and swimming finals, the more confidence you will have, the faster you will swim, the stronger you will be.
A swimmer should enter a prelim race with the goal of making finals. To expect anything less would be to sell yourself short. To expect not to make finals would be self-limiting.
As a swimmer develops and reaches this level of competition, we would like you to keep the following information in mind.
What is Involved? Be prepared! Clear your calendar for the entire weekend. When participating in prelims/finals meets, just expect to be there all day. Ideally, we would like our swimmers to go home to rest and refuel between prelims and finals. Swimmers need to be back in time for warm-ups in order to prepare for their final race(s). Please plan accordingly to assure a successful swimming experience for your athlete.
Atmosphere: The atmosphere at prelims is very different than during finals. The fastest swimmers have a hard time swimming best times during prelims especially knowing that finals will take place only a few hours after their initial, qualifying race. The goal is to swim fast enough to make finals. However, in the history of the FISH, we have had swimmers swim best times during prelims and they were totally surprised when they realized, they had just secured a spot in the A Final.
Pressure: After a long day of swimming the athletes return one more time to the pool for the final races, the fastest races. Who will touch the wall first? Though the pressure it tense, athletes handle it better when participating in these types of meets more frequently. Therefore, when a swimmer qualifies, participation is a must. In addition, the team spirit among the athletes can alleviate some of the pressure. Teammates cheer each other on and the FISH spirit takes on a life of its own.
Reaching Goal Times: Prelims/finals meets create an environment for our swimmers to reach their goal times in December. Representing your team in a final race, scoring points for your team, and getting that time you worked so hard for, is all part of the learning experience.
All FISH swimmers are capable of “breakout” swims. Be prepared for prelims AND finals!
Kids Should Not Consume Energy Drinks, And Rarely Need Sports Drinks, Says American Academy of Pediatrics
Reprinted from www.MedicalNewsToday.com
Sports and energy drinks are heavily marketed to children and adolescents, but in most cases kids don't need them - and some of these products contain substances that could be harmful to children.
In a new clinical report, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) outlines how these products are being misused, discusses their ingredients, and provides guidance to decrease or eliminate consumption by children and adolescents. The report, "Sports Drinks and Energy Drinks for Children and Adolescents: Are They Appropriate?" is published in the June 2011 issue of Pediatrics (published online May 30).
"There is a lot of confusion about sports drinks and energy drinks, and adolescents are often unaware of the differences in these products," said Marcie Beth Schneider, MD, FAAP, a member of the AAP Committee on Nutrition and co-author of the report. "Some kids are drinking energy drinks - containing large amounts of caffeine - when their goal is simply to rehydrate after exercise. This means they are ingesting large amounts of caffeine and other stimulants, which can be dangerous."
Sports drinks and energy drinks are different products, said Holly J. Benjamin, MD, FAAP, a member of the executive committee of the AAP Council on Sports Medicine and Fitness, and a co-author of the report. Sports drinks, which contain carbohydrates, minerals, electrolytes and flavoring, are intended to replace water and electrolytes lost through sweating during exercise. Sports drinks can be helpful for young athletes engaged in prolonged, vigorous physical activities, but in most cases they are unnecessary on the sports field or the school lunchroom.
"For most children engaging in routine physical activity, plain water is best," Dr. Benjamin said. "Sports drinks contain extra calories that children don't need, and could contribute to obesity and tooth decay. It's better for children to drink water during and after exercise, and to have the recommended intake of juice and low-fat milk with meals. Sports drinks are not recommended as beverages to have with meals."
Energy drinks contain substances not found in sports drinks that act as stimulants, such as caffeine, guarana and taurine. Caffeine - by far the most popular stimulant - has been linked to a number of harmful health effects in children, including effects on the developing neurologic and cardiovascular systems. Energy drinks are never appropriate for children or adolescents, said Dr. Schneider and Dr. Benjamin. In general, caffeine-containing beverages, including soda, should be avoided.
The report contains tables listing specific products available today and their contents.
"In many cases, it's hard to tell how much caffeine is in a product by looking at the label," Dr. Schneider said. "Some cans or bottles of energy drinks can have more than 500 mg of caffeine, which is the equivalent of 14 cans of soda."
AAP recommendations include:
- Pediatricians should highlight the difference between sports drinks and energy drinks with patients and their parents, and talk about the potential health risks.
- Energy drinks pose potential health risks because of the stimulants they contain, and should never be consumed by children or adolescents.
- Routine ingestion of carbohydrate-containing sports drinks by children and adolescents should be avoided or restricted, because they can increase the risk of overweight and obesity, as well as dental erosion.
- Sports drinks have a limited function for pediatric athletes; they should be ingested when there is a need for rapid replenishment of carbohydrates and/or electrolytes in combination with water during prolonged, vigorous physical activity.
- Water, not sports drinks, should be the principal source of hydration for children and adolescents.
Article URL: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/226870.php
By Lisa Liston
Lynchburg YMCA Swim Team
Nutrition is important ALL THE TIME to keep the tank full for athletic training and performance. Athletes need to EAT TO TRAIN, not train so they can eat. In general, the athlete’s diet should be composed of 60% carbohydrates, 15% protein, and 25% fat. Carbohydrates are necessary as the dominant fuel in moderate and high intensity activities. Carbohydrates provide the energy to keep your engine running through those long practices and intense races! Protein is not an energy source, but it is important because it builds and repairs muscles, produces hormones, supports the immune system, and replaces red blood cells. Fat plays a critical role in the overall functioning of the body; it aids in digestion and energy metabolism, helps maintain body temperature, and plays a part in regulating hormone production.
In order to maintain optimal training and performance energy levels, it is important that athletes eat early and often! Athletes should have a carbohydrate snack before morning workouts -- even if a small amount. (While some don’t like to eat early in the morning, you can train your body to begin accepting food.) You should never go 3 or 4 hours without a snack during the day. It is better for swimmers to eat 6-8 times a day rather than just three meals a day. Athletes MUST have a carbohydrate snack immediately after practice. For proper muscle repair to begin, you have about a 30 minutes window to get some food in after practice. Within 1-2 hours of practice, swimmers should have a full meal. Without adequate fuel, swimmers will become fatigued and are more prone to injury as they are not helping their muscles recover.
Some excellent choices for your post-workout recovery snack might include chocolate milk, power bars, yogurt, bagels with peanut butter, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The more you weigh, the larger your snack should be. For instance if you weigh 120 pounds, 1.5 power bars may be sufficient, but if you weigh 175, then you might need 1 cup of chocolate milk and a bagel with peanut butter.
Not only is getting adequate food important during regular training, it is also critical during meets to maintain peak performance. After racing, swimmers need to replenish fluids and eat a small snack. Sometimes a swimmer won’t have quite enough time to warm down after a race and eating some food to help the recovery process along is just plain smart. Stuck at a summer league meet with no warm down at all? Keep moving around and eat a few peanut butter crackers before your next race!
Check out USA Swimming’s nutrition tracker on the web to be sure you’re getting enough! As we head outdoors into the 50 meter pool in just a few days, training demands will become greater and swimmers are likely to need more calories to sustain successful training.
By Guy Edson, ASCA Staff
I have never met a coach who didn’t want all their athletes to be the best they can be.
I have never met a parent who didn’t want their child to be the best they can be.
So why do we have so many conflicts between coaches and parents? The simple answer is that each sees a different path.
Let’s take the case of the unusually advanced 8 year old whose parents want their child to swim with the next group of 9-12’s. “After all,” the mom says, “my son is faster than half of the kids in the next group.” (And she is correct.)
Why wouldn’t the coach give a wholehearted “Yes,” and say, “I’ll move him up right away. In fact, I believe he can make the send off intervals that the 11-12’s are making so I’ll put him there. In a year he may be ready for the senior team.”
Why not?
Because every good coach sees the importance of long term progressive development and views their young swimmers as long term endeavors. Coaches should take a patient and a progressive approach to the development of their young swimmers. Coaches want swimmers in the program through their teen years and into their 20’s when they are physically mature and have the greatest potential for life changing participation.
Ask an adult who dropped out of swimming by age 12 or 13 what they remember from the sport and chances are, they remember very little. Now ask an adult who swam through college what they remember and chances are they will tell you it was one of the most important life changing experiences of their life.
So how do we keep a swimmer in the sport that long?
Many parents also will echo the importance of long term development. However, they just want to speed it up. There is a sometimes verbalized refrain, “The better he is now, then the better he will be in the future.”
This is not true in most cases. Parents who are otherwise well-meaning, sometimes push their budding stars to excel too early at almost any cost. And that cost is frequently failing to finish the long term.
Parents should take note: A 2001 study by the National Alliance for Youth Sports found that 70 percent of American kids who sign up for sports quit by the time they were 13. The reason? They said it wasn't fun anymore.
A study done by the ASCA staff years ago and repeated several times since shows that only 17 to 20% of the aged 9-10 swimmers ranked in the top 16 are still swimming at the national level 5 years later. USA Swimming also did a study using the all time Top 100 list and found that only 11% of the top ranked 10 and unders are still ranked as 17-18 year olds.
What is the primary reason we lose swimmers? The number one reason according to a survey done a few years ago is simply that swimming stopped being fun.
And what are the elements of fun? Friends, caring coaches, and absence of undue pressure from mom and dad to achieve their goals for the child.
When we move an 8 and under to an older age group we…:
…take them away from their friends. (“Friends” is the number one reason why young swimmers stay on the team in the first place.)
…take away their opportunity to be the leader of their peers. Good coaches build core groups of swimmers around leaders and move those core groups up through the program very nearly together.
…take the edge off of that wonderful, playful, crazy style of an 8 year old – because now, they are with older swimmers who usually do not share the same traits as an 8 year old.
…place tremendous pressure on the swimmer because now it’s not about having fun and being with friends, now it is about the serious business of work and achieving the goals mom and dad are setting for the child.
…change the progression and move the swimmer to a program which they may not be able to handle physically, developmentally, or mentally. Dryland training for an 8 and under is vastly different than for an 11-12 year old. The amount of fundamental kicking is less for an older age group swimmer. The amount of stroke work is also less for an older age group swimmer. Skip a proper progression of these and you risk developing an incomplete athlete.
…provide less time for games and relays.
…ignore the fact that the 8 year old may be better than the other 8 and unders because he is simply older biologically and developmentally than his peers and in all likelihood his peers will catch up to him at some point and many will pass on by. When that happens it is very difficult for the swimmer to understand why they aren’t so “good” anymore and lose interest in the sport.
…identify the 8 year old as a “talent” with tremendous pressure to live up to it. Some parents even identify their young swimmers as “our talented little butterflyer” or backstroker or breaststroker, etc. The problem is, as swimmers grow and body proportions change, they frequently lose their ability to be very good in one specific stroke. If their identity is attached to a stroke and they lose their stroke, then they lose their identity. Good coaches don’t create specialized age group swimmers and try very hard to create well rounded IM swimmers. When parents push a certain stroke upon a child, it adds to the stress.
…place the child in a socially difficult situation. Chatter among swimmers between sets and before and after practice – the so called “locker room talk” -- may be very inappropriate for an 8 year old to listen to.
…change the focus of the coach as the coach now has to take special care for an under-age swimmer in the group who might not make all the intervals or understand all the instructions.
Neither parents, nor coaches, can MAKE a child be a great swimmer. We can only provide the environment with the proper emotional support (parents) and challenges (coaching) in a well crafted progressive program aimed at the long term development of the child (coaching). It looks like I have reduced the role of the parent to that of providing emotional support – correct! That’s what you can uniquely provide and that is what is most needed from you.
Next time you come to practice, bring an extra towel for your child, and bring a book for yourself. Allow your child to get lost in the fun of a practice with their buddies while you simply watch them for the sheer joy of it without worries about their swimming future… or, just get lost in your book.
FAQ’s For Parents Training and Workout
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